


Dobby's Inferno

by DBInk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, La Divina Commedia | The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
Genre: But I have skimmed the Wikipedia article, Dobby goes to Hell, I actually haven't read Inferno, Other, but not permanently
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 01:31:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DBInk/pseuds/DBInk
Summary: Dobby dies and finds himself in wizard hell. It's up to Lupin to guide the house elf on through so he can find heaven.





	Dobby's Inferno

So first things first, I know Inferno is supposed to be an epic poem, but you can fuck yourself if you think I'm going to try and write the whole damn thing in verse. Poetry as a popular medium for long form narratives died for a reason, and that reason is _probably_ because it's hard to write and sounds stupid as hell. I actually tried to write in the same format in Dante, but it was difficult and sounded awful so you're going to get get plain prose and you're going to like it.

Second thing second, Dobby died in book seven of the Harry potter series, which is where this story begins.

"Dobby, Dobby don't you die on me," cried Harry as he cradled the ugly little elf-thing in his arms. Tears fell from hi face as he tried to use magic to mend the bullet wounds that riddled his body, but it was no use, the damage had been done.

Oh yeah, third thing now, I read the Harry Potter books back in grade school and I never actually finished the seventh book. So I'm just going to make shit up, hope you're cool with that.

"Cry while you can Potter, 'cause you're next," said a death eater as he pointed his Ak-47 at the boy who lived. He pulled the trigger and all that came out was the clicking of an empty magazine. He looked down and scowled at the gun, as if that would somehow fix the problem before looking back at Harry who wasn't even paying attention as he wept over Dobby. "Tch, you lucked out this time, Potter, but next time I'm bringing extra ammo," he said as he apparated away.

"Hermione, you're a huge nerd, don't you know any spells that can save him?" Harry pleaded.

She responded, "Save him? Harry he had an entire thirty round magazine emptied into his guts, there's nothing to be done."

Dobby weakly raised a hand in protest and said "Don't worry about me, Master Potter, Dobby would sacrifice himself for you thrice more if he could."

Dobby then closed his eyes one more time and soon faded out of consciousness for good. Or at least he thought it would be for good, but shortly after he started to feel warm, uncomfortably warm in fact. Dobby opened his eyes for the first time since the last time he closed them. He looked around and saw he was no longer in Harry's arms but now in a place quite foreign to him. He stood in a rugged landscape bathed in flame, with neither tree nor grass in sight. The only signs of any life at all were agonized screams coming from behind a massive gate that lay before him. The gate had an inscription upon it but Dobby coulldn't read so he was still in the dark. If he could read, he would have known the gate read "Abandon all hope, thee who enter here." By the way if you know if Dobby is canonically literate or not leave me a comment about pretty much anything else because I do not care. 

"Where is Dobby?" Dobby asked himself dobbilly as he took a step back. As he stepped back he felt himself bump into someone behind him, he froze in terror and dared not turn around to face the person.

The person he bumped into spoke up and said "That's simple Dobby, you're in wizard hell, and I'm here to take you to wizard heaven."

Dobby turned around and was surprised to see Remus Lupin looking down at him. Or at least he would have been surprised if Dobby had ever met Lupin, which I'm not sure if he ever had. I also don't know when Lupin dies so if the timelines don't add up we'll just call this an AU. "Hell? What has Dobby done to be sent to hell?" he asked, terrified to hear he was in hell, but also relieved that at least was in hell with someone he knew.

Lupin replied "Remember that one time you were driving, and you saw the person in the car in front of you had left their gas cap open and you _didn't _pull them over and let them know?"__

__Dobby hung his head low, "Yes, Dobby remembers, hardly a day goes by Dobby doesn't regret it."_ _

__"Well don't worry, Dobster, just follow me and I'll get you out of here no problem. However, I'm going to have to ask that you stop referring to yourself in the third person. We've got nine circles of wizard hell to get through and I really don't want to deal with that the whole time," Lupin explained as he started walking towards the gate, motioning for the elf to follow._ _

__"But master Lupin, how do you know how to get to wizard heaven?"_ _

__"Don't you know? _All_ dogs go to heaven."_ _

__Dobby grimaced as he realized that Lupin was probably chosen to be this story's Vergil just so the author could make that awful joke. Nonetheless he dutifully followed behind the werewolf, eager to get the hell out of hell. The gates swung open for the two of them and they made their first steps on the long journey before them._ _


End file.
